Gracie Ann's Birth Story

On December 23, 2011, I actually called into the doctor's office because I hadn't felt any movement from Gracie all week and my rash was getting unbearable. I waited a week because I could go a day or two without feeling her. They had me come in right away, and surprised I waited that long. As soon as I arrived , they hooked me up to the heartbeat machine and Corey and I heard the heartbeat. Gracie's heartbeat was normal. What a relief! The doctor also had me tested for some liver thing that causes itchiness, which I never did find out the results of that. My rash has healed though!!


Corey and I went on to enjoy Christmas with my parents. I had a fun birthday of shopping. Still no movement from Gracie. 


On December 29, 2011, I had routine appointment with a new doctor at 10:30am, since mine was on vacation that week. Corey had been working from home that week and decided to take me to my appointment, which I am so thankful he did. The doctor came in and asked if I had any concerns. I told her how I was still feeling no movement from Gracie and how I came in last week, in which she decided to check the heartbeat first thing. The doctor searched all around my tummy and couldn't find a heartbeat. Corey and I just started crying. The doctor was very sympathetic, and wanted to do an ultrasound to see for sure, which confirmed no heartbeat. The doctor immediately started going over the plan of what was to happen next. The doctor wanted to do an ultrasound over at the high risk place to get size of baby, because Gracie was breeched and the size would determine the delivery plan and the appointment wasn't till 12:20pm. This gave Corey and I time to go home and grab stuff for a stay at the hospital. Also, to call his parents who would need to begin their travels. We went home, packed a bag and did some things around the house to get ready to house more family with the help of my parents. We then all headed back to the doctors. I had my ultrasound, which then again confirmed no heartbeat. Gracie was measuring about 3lbs. 6 ounces, which is rough estimate and found that to be true later. The nurse printed a few pictures for me from the ultrasound, which I am glad to have. We then went back to doctor to continue to go over plan and because of Gracie's size I would be able to deliver naturally and they wouldn't need to try to turn her around. Praise God! Here is some numbers of where I was at in the pregnancy at this time...I was 35 weeks pregnant, measuring 46 1/2 weeks and Gracie was measuring about 29 weeks. 


I think it was about 1:30pm by the time we got over to the hospital to get checked in and to start being induced. All family that was coming were on their way to Oregon by this time or had flights scheduled for that evening. I was getting nervous about this whole process. First, I have never stayed in the hospital before and second, wasn't sure what to expect with delivering a baby and one that wasn't alive at that. I had lots going on in my head at this point, but remained calmed. God was with us. I was induced with this stuff that started with a "m", but it wasn't working, so nothing was really happening throughout the evening and night. We had to wait till the doctor came in the morning to figure out what to do next. It was a long night in a very uncomfortable bed! 


Friday, December 30, 2011...I am not sure of timing for this day, but the doctor came in and wanted to try this balloon thing to make me dilated, which wasn't working. She ended up deciding to break my water, and this was a huge amount of water. It kept coming and coming. What a mess it was!! My stomach instantly went down, which was crazy. I went ahead and got the epidural before they started pitocin. As soon as the pitocin started going then things started moving. I dilated fairly quickly. I felt some of those contractions and it was painful. Epidural increase, please. Thank you! The doctor came back in and said the contractions will get better once we start pushing. Gracie had also flipped at some time during the water breaking and contractions, so she was coming out head first. After 3 pushes, Gracie was delivered at 4:30pm. The doctor was so sweet in describing how she looked because I was so nervous about seeing her. It was hard to see her but at the same time I was so happy to meet her. The nurse wrapped her up, put a hat on her and handed her to me. Gracie was so tiny and it barely felt like I was holding anything. As soon as she was born, I felt like 30 bricks were lifted off my shoulders. I had no more worries and fears about when and how this was all going to play out. I just felt an immense amount of love for her. Gracie was in heaven with no pain and no suffering, which gave me so much peace. As much as I wanted to see her alive, I knew she was in a much better place. After Corey and I had some time alone with her, we had the family come in to meet her. It was a sweet time filled with tears of sadness and joy at the same time. I had a few friends there also, who then came in to meet her. All got to hold her if they wanted. I felt like a proud mommy showing off Gracie. I had met with a photographer earlier in my pregnancy who was coming in to take pictures of Gracie and she arrived an hour or so after Gracie arrived. I am so glad I did that. I was able to get a few pictures for the memorial service and they are so beautiful!!


We spent 4 1/2 hours with Gracie and it will be 4 1/2 hours we will cherish for the rest of our life. Corey and I are brokenhearted, but have found peace in knowing our baby girl is safe in the arms of Jesus. Please continue to pray for us as we mourn, grieve and to begin to heal. God has been so faithful to us during my pregnancy and we know and trust that He will continue to be. 


Thank you for your prayers during my pregnancy and delivery of Gracie. They were needed and felt! We truly could not have done this without our Lord and Savior and the support from family and friends. 


Psalm 139:13-16

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am
fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not
hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes
saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for
me, when as yet there was none of them.