Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and wish she was here doing girly things with. I miss her. I am sad she isn't here.
I remember so clearly hearing, It's a Boy, with each pregnancy after and to be honest my heart sank a little. I wanted a girl. I always envisioned my self raising a little girl. It isn't that I am not thankful or blessed with each one of these healthy big boys God has given to me. I just love all girl things so much and looked forward to sharing in that with a daughter. There has been times when I find myself praying and upset with God about not giving me what I desired and taking the only the girl I will carry away. It feels unfair, and at the same time knowing He has filled my life with 4 sweet wild healthy boys, which makes me thankful beyond measure. I am reminded He has never forsaken me when I look at them. I am still doing what I feel called to do and that is be a mom. It is baffling sometimes to have these mixed emotions, but I am learning that is how grief works. Grief is a roller coaster, lots of ups and downs.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
As believers in Christ we are called to be thankful in all circumstances, not just thankful in situations that we enjoy, but also in the hard situations.
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. Psalm 9:1
Corey and I went through a sad and difficult time with losing Gracie. Our faith in God helped us to find joy, peace and the ability to move forward. I think I have said this in every post but I am forever thankful to our family and friends who prayed and encouraged us in that season and continue to do so.
How very quietly you you tiptoed into our world, silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footprints have left upon our hearts. -Dorthy Ferguson
Our family will never feel complete to me here, not until we are all together in Heaven. Until then, I will love on my boys, go on fun adventures, make memories even in the small things, and buy lots of bulk foods at Costco.
2020 has been hard year for all of us in different ways. I pray that as this year comes to end that you will look back and find the blessings. Be thankful in these hard times. God is always with us and at times He is even carrying us through.
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| Our first baby born into Heaven |
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| Our sweet baby Gracie |
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| Mother's love, you are in my heart baby girl. |
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| Our family now. God is so good. |
