I don't write in this often, but do come back to it often. I come back to remember and relive. Today brings me to share what is on my heart though.
Five years ago today, we found out our little girl had passed. I don't like that the time I had with her is getting further away and that days are getting busier that I don't think of her as often. At the same time, I love how my life has moved on and that my days are so busy I barely remember if I ate or not. This blog helps me feel close to Gracie. I miss her so much. I miss that I am not taking her to kindergarten and going on field trips with her. I am sad that I don't know what she looks like at 5 years old. I have said this in many blog posts, as much as I hurt that she isn't here, I am at the same time thankful she felt no pain and no suffering. Gracie is with Jesus and nothing is better than that. I know I will see her again and get to hold her in my arms. This was a time in our lives that felt so unfair and sometimes still does. We have two little blessings named Austin and Gabe that heal the hurt and help life to continue moving. And we are about to add another blessing to our lives. God is good and I am so thankful to Him for what He has given to us. I am so thankful for Gracie and the short time she was here. She taught me a lot about my faith and helped me grow in my faith.
Today I took the boys to Chick Fil A to play and have lunch. I wore a necklace my mom got me for one of Gracie's birthday. A little girl came into the play place and instantly started talking to me and she noticed my necklace right away and told me how beautiful it was. She then preceded to tell me how she was 5 years old. Wow, sweet angel God sent to me today. It made me think of Gracie and how she probably would comment on my jewelry and think it was beautiful. But God also gave me a sweet boy, Austin, who told me this afternoon my necklace was beautiful and that I was beautiful also. Here is a picture of the necklace.
I also wanted to share with you that tomorrow I have ultrasound and that hopefully baby will show us its gender. Of course I would love for baby to be a girl. As long as baby is healthy, than boy or girl would be wonderful. I did a blood test to check for chromosomal abnormalities and it came back negative. Thank you Jesus. I can't help but still be a little nervous. I don't want any not good surprises. Please be praying for us tomorrow and I should be able to share tomorrow night the gender. I love that I have something exciting to look forward to on the day I gave birth to Gracie! It makes tomorrow bittersweet and I am good with that.
I am always so thankful for you all and how you have prayed for us thru the years. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers and your encouragement.
